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Understanding child custody and a child’s best interests
Illinois parents who are getting a divorce will want to serve the child’s best interests with child custody and visitation. However, the parents’ perception of a child’s best interests might differ from how the law perceives it. When the court decides on a case, it is important to understand what will be considered when the determination is made.
There are numerous factors that will be part of the process under state law. If the child is of sufficient age and maturity to state his or her preferences, the court will take that into account. Divorce can mean a period of adjustment for a child based on the new situation and living arrangements. This can include the community, schooling and living with a single parent. People can have various issues mentally and physically – the court will gauge these factors when making its decision.
Since the marriage broke down, there could be lingering animosity that might negatively impact the relationship and hinder cooperation. The court will consider how this can be navigated as decision-making responsibility is allocated. Parents will have a history of involvement in the child’s life. That level of participation will be weighed as the court decides on child custody and visitation. Parental behavior and negotiated agreements can be critical when the court considers child custody.
A primer on child custody in Illinois
One of the principal questions that worries an Illinois resident who is contemplating a divorce is child custody. Many people simplify the question as simply “Who gets the kids?” The Illinois legislature changed the question slightly when it passed the Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act that became effective on January 1, 2016. The question is now “How will the court allocate parental responsibilities?” Parental responsibilities include decision-making responsibility that affect the children, formerly known as “legal custody,” and parenting time, previously referred to as “visitation.”
Illinois courts now ask every divorcing couple to prepare a parenting plan, a written agreement in which the parents agree to allocate decision-making responsibilities, parenting time or both. The plan must be signed by both parents and submitted to the court within 120 days after either parent files a petition for allocation of parental responsibilities. If the parents do not agree on these issues, the court will issue its own parenting plan. Such plans generally aim to protect the best interests of the child, but courts must consider a number of lesser factors, including:
Understanding collaborative divorce in Illinois
As the Twentieth Century was coming to a close, people in Northern Illinois who were contemplating a divorce had basically two options: attempt to negotiate an agreement with the other spouse on all aspects of the divorce, including child custody, child support, alimony and property division, or, failing to reach an agreement, go to trial and ask the judge to resolve their disagreements. With the passage of the millennium, divorce attorneys and bar associations have realized the need for more alternatives in order to resolve divorce issues without the usual level of anger and stress. One of these alternative is called “collaborative divorce.” While this process may not be the best choice for everyone, a knowledge of the benefits and difficulties of collaborative divorce can help people select a divorce proceeding that may work.
As the name suggests, a collaborative divorce involves the agreement of both spouses to enter upon a process that uses collaboration to resolve disagreements. Before beginning the collaborative divorce process, both parties must do the following:
How do Illinois judges divide assets in a divorce?
Dividing assets can be one of the most contentious issues in an Illinois divorce, especially if the couple has had a long marriage. A couple whose children are grown may spend most of their time arguing about who gets the Mercedes or the condo in Aspen. How does a judge resolve these questions?
The first factor considered by the judge is how to divide the assets “equitably.” Like many states, Illinois does not have a community property law that would mandate a financially equal division of assets. Instead, the legislature has directed courts to ensure that a couple’s assets are distributed equitably. The word “equitable” means “fairly,” considering the financial situation of each spouse. Equitable does not mean equal.
Many couples have signed pre-marital agreements that contain the couple’s wishes about the division of their property. In the absence of an enforceable pre-marital agreement, the court will consider a number of factors. These factors can include
Should you record your spouse's abusive behavior?
Your spouse has turned into someone who is so far removed from the person you thought you married that you don't even recognize them any longer. You're heading for a divorce, and you suspect that your spouse is going to make every step of the way as painful as possible. You'll probably have to fight for custody.
Knowing your situation, a friend suggests that you try to catch your spouse hurdling abuse at you on tape, with the idea that it might be useful in court.
That's not a good idea. Illinois is considered a two-party consent state, meaning that everyone involved in a conversation that can reasonably be expected to be private must consent to be recorded. If someone is recorded without their knowledge, that's a violation of federal wiretapping laws.
What does that mean? Generally, if your spouse starts making threats and yelling at you while you're in the parking lot of a local restaurant, that's not a private area. You can probably record what your spouse is saying without a problem.
How to keep your divorce from killing your career
Whether your divorce came out of the blue or was something you saw happening from a mile away, it still has the capacity to turn your life upside down. It's easy to get caught up in the emotions that are playing out — and the energy drain can be significant.
You're also worried about how your private life can remain private when your marital woes keep spilling over at work. Here are some tips you can use to cope:
- Organize your time. Don't try to squeeze a meeting in with your attorney (or your spouse) during lunch hours or first thing in the morning. The emotional drain will likely affect you the rest of the day. Aim for end-of-the-day meetings whenever possible.
- Choose an attorney who's convenient. While location isn't everything, an attorney whose office is near yours will be more easily accessible than one who requires an hour-long commute every time you have to go to the office.
- Keep your documents off your computer desktop. Your divorce documents and financial records should probably not be on your work computer at all. If, for any reason, you do have to store some documents there, put them in a private folder where they're out of sight.
When dividing up the assets in divorce, pets are special
Given the importance of pets to today's Americans, it's hard to believe that dogs were once kept primarily as a labor force and were seen as nothing more than another type of livestock. Now, pets — dogs, cats and other animals — tend to be beloved companions. Many people even refer to their four-legged friends as their "fur babies," likening them to children, particularly among Millennials.
That's creating some major hiccups in divorce cases everywhere. Years ago, ownership of a pet was decided mostly based on which spouse's name was on the adoption or registration papers. These days, it's not so simple. Couples going through a divorce may be willing to compromise on a lot, but they often go to bat for custody or visitation rights over the dog (and, sometimes, the cat). Some couples even wind up back in court, well after the divorce is over, due to allegations of neglect or abuse of a pet. Pet owners have also occasionally refused to comply with a court's order regarding their pets, which has even led to contempt charges.
When can a child decide which parent to live with in Illinois?
When you're a parent, one of the worst aspects of divorce is that you will likely no longer have your child living with you 100% of the time. Parents often fight hard for the right to control in which household a child spends the majority of their time. They may also be surprised to learn that a minor child can sometimes make that decision for themselves.
In Illinois, the law allows children 14 years of age and older to choose which parent they want to have primary custody. Unless the judge has a compelling reason not to allow it, the child's preference may hold sway.
So what could make a judge decide not to allow a child's request regarding custody? Every decision the judge makes in a custody case has to center around the "best interests of the child." As any parent knows, sometimes children (especially teens) don't make decisions that are in their best interest. Instead they may:
- Seek to punish one parent for their perceived role in the divorce by asking to live with the other parent
4 questions young people need to consider when divorcing
Sometimes, couples quickly figure out that their marriage is a mistake. When you're in your 20s and 30s, you know that you have plenty of time to start over — which makes divorce seem less intimidating.
But divorce at any age can be complicated — even when you're young. Here are some of the things that you need to keep in mind if you're thinking about divorce before age 40:
1. What does your prenuptial agreement say?
Millennials have largely embraced prenups like no other generation before them. If you and your spouse signed a prenup, it's time to get it out and take a look at the terms. You don't want to trust your memory, and the prenup will guide everything from the division of your assets and business interests to issues of spousal support.
2. What have you been posting on social media?
The temptation to vent about your frustrations with your spouse can be huge — but you never want to post anything online that you don't want to hear repeated in court. If you can't trust yourself to stay quiet, take a social media break.
Discussing a prenup with your intended spouse
Prenups are increasingly popular these days, especially as people continue to marry later and enter into relationships well after they're established their own wealth and independent lives.
But talking about a prenup with your intended spouse can be awkward at best. You don't want to give the impression that you're already doubting the viability of a marriage that hasn't yet started and you certainly don't want to trigger a reaction that could end your relationship.
So where do you start? Here are some suggestions:
1. Choose your timing carefully.
You don't want to spring this conversation on your fiance in the middle of a romantic dinner. Nor do you want to sit down to the table ready to discuss a list of talking points before your intended has a chance to even think things through. Let your partner know that you want to discuss the issue and agree to talk about it after you've both had time to consider the proposition.