Posted on November 05, 2019 in Family Law

Stalking, threats and acts of violence can start out of nowhere and happen to anyone. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 14 out of every 1,000 adults will experience some form of stalking every year. Three-quarters of all stalking victims know their tormentor in some way or another.

If you're being harassed, threatened with violence or outright stalked by someone, you may need either an order of protection or a stalking no-contact order. While similar in function, there are some distinct differences between the two.

What's an order of protection?

In Illinois, an order of protection is only used to restrict the actions of a family or household member who has interfered with your personal liberty in some way, harassed you, threatened you or physically hit you. The law defines "family and household members" as:

• Anybody blood-related
• Married couples
• Divorced couples
• Parents of a child in common, regardless of their relationship to each other

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 Posted on October 31, 2019 in Child Custody

Divorce can be rough — particularly if you're a parent. You know that the end of your marriage is going to affect your children as much as it affects you.

The more conscious you are of the emotional impact of your divorce on the kids, the easier it will be to develop strategies that you can use to reassure them. Here are the common problems divorced parents encounter by age:

Toddlers

Your youngest children may be the most confused by all the changes going on in your world. Some likely won't understand the permanence of the new situation. Others may worry that you or their other parent will one day "stop loving" them and disappear.

They need plenty of reassurance that both of their parents will always love them.

Grade-schoolers

Children this age sometimes blame themselves for their parents' divorce. They may also think that they can somehow fix what went wrong in your relationship with your ex.

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 Posted on October 25, 2019 in Divorce

A lot of clients want to know if they can date even though their divorce isn't final. It's human nature to want to reach out to other people and find a lifelong companion, so the desire to find someone new when your old relationship is clearly over is certainly understandable.

As the saying goes, you certainly can date while you're getting a divorce, but should you? Frankly, you're better off waiting. Here's why:

Legal complications can abound

Illinois is one of the few states that still has a statute in force that makes adultery a crime — so prosecution is possible (albeit rare). You could face a year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

In addition, if you spend any joint money celebrating your new love, you may be accused of the dissipation of marital assets — or "wasting" money that's partially your spouse's on someone else. You could be required to pay that money back to your spouse in the split, especially if it is a significant amount.

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 Posted on October 15, 2019 in Divorce

Do you want a reasonably peaceful divorce? It is possible to have — but only if you take care to avoid certain critical blunders.

Knowledge is power. If you recognize the mistakes that you're making (or about to make), you can take steps to avert a disaster. Do any of these common mistakes sound familiar to you?

1. You're incorrectly relying on a marital agreement

Prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements are handy tools that can help solve disputes — but they aren't always properly done. Before you rely too concretely on your marital agreement, make sure that you have an attorney review it for validity.

2. You're letting anger gain a foothold over your actions

Once you've decided to get a divorce, the time for anger is really over. Now, you need to compartmentalize your feelings for a while and focus on the practical aspects of your divorce. Find an outlet for your anger in your hobbies, your friends or your therapist — but keep your conversation with your spouse civil at all times. Effective communication is clear and calm.

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 Posted on October 11, 2019 in Child Custody

When you're a parent of young children, a divorce means an uneasy transition to shared parenting. This often means splitting holidays and other special events — or sharing them.

If you're feeling a little stressed about the situation as you approach Halloween, can you imagine how your children may feel? They are looking forward to the holiday, and they really want both of their parents to celebrate with them. This can be easier than you expect it to be as long as you and your ex-spouse are willing to cooperate a little.

Here are several ways to handle the situation that could make everyone happy:

1. Split the festivities

If your children are going to more than one Halloween event, you and your ex-spouse can split the festivities between you. This works best when the trick-or-treat times in your neighborhood and your ex-spouse's neighborhood are different. (The kids may particularly love this solution because it equals twice the candy and twice the fun!)

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 Posted on October 04, 2019 in Family Law

When your girlfriend announced that she was pregnant, you were thrilled. You anxiously awaited your child's birth, and you've been there every step of the pregnancy. Now that your child is actually here, you're an active and involved parent. The only problem is that, for one reason or another, your name isn't on the birth certificate as the child's father.

So, why bother establishing your paternity? If you're supporting your child and everything seems fine, is there any point in going to the trouble?

Absolutely.

Unmarried parents are hardly uncommon in the modern United States. It's estimated that one-third of the country's children are living with a single parent.

Unfortunately for you, there's no guarantee that your relationship with your girlfriend will last. You could easily find yourself "pushed out" of your little family if your romance fades, and your current girlfriend finds another partner or marries.

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 Posted on September 26, 2019 in Divorce

Americans love to celebrate at every big occasion, so it's probably no surprise that "divorce parties" have become so popular.

But, is it really okay to have one? Here are a few things you should consider:

1. Why do you want to have one?

If you're thinking about all of the ways you can use your divorce party to emotionally devastate your ex-spouse, it's probably better to skip it. The real point of a party like this is to mark a transition. If you're focused on your ex, you haven't totally moved on.

On the other hand, if you want to simply celebrate a turning point in your path and welcome the future and all it brings, a party is probably very appropriate.

2. Will you benefit from a party?

A divorce party can be very life-affirming. The odds are high that your divorce will end a few relationships you've developed over the course of your marriage. By the same token, you may find your way back to old friendships, develop new friendships and find strong supporters among your family.

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 Posted on September 26, 2019 in Divorce

When you go through a divorce, you probably have significant concerns about what this process may mean for your future. The end of a marriage can be costly, and the financial impact may last for years to come. You understand the importance of securing fair terms and the appropriate amount of spousal support you need.

Not everyone is eligible for spousal support. If you are eligible, it is possible that you could get benefits for a certain period of time, or you may not get as much as you think you will. There are specific factors that affect how much a person gets and the amount. Whether you will be able to settle the issue of spousal support in negotiations or you will take your divorce before a court, it may be helpful to learn more about the considerations that may affect your support order.

How much and for how long?

The purpose of alimony is to offset the economic inequity that a divorce often brings to a lesser-earning spouse. If you stayed home with the kids, gave up career opportunities to support your spouse or earned significantly less than your spouse, there is a lot of financial uncertainty in your future. When considering the issue of spousal support, the court may look at the following factors:

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 Posted on September 19, 2019 in Divorce

To get a divorce, you have to serve your spouse with notice that you intend to obtain one, but that isn't always an easy task. If your spouse picked up stakes and moved on without leaving a forwarding address, what can you do?

1. Do your best to locate your spouse

You can't resort to a backup method of notification under Illinois law until you can show the court that you've made a diligent effort to find your spouse — even if he or she doesn't want to be found.

This includes things like:

• Doing an online search for your spouse's address.
• Trying to contact your spouse through social media.
• Contacting your spouse's known relatives or friends.
• Checking your spouse's last known place of employment.

Exactly what you have to do to satisfy the court will vary on your particular situation — but you generally need to establish that you have genuinely tried and aren't just looking to skirt the normal notification procedure for some reason.

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 Posted on September 13, 2019 in Child Custody

It's not uncommon to hear jokes about panicked or clueless fathers trying to handle the morning routine with the kids. You also hear jokes about new mothers who are nervous about leaving their husbands in charge of the baby for the first time.

Those jokes play on our culture's subconscious beliefs about the nature of men and women when it comes to parenting. Moms are considered "naturally gifted" at handling a toddler's strange food requests, a preschooler who is determined to dress himself and a grade schooler's absent-mindedness. Dads are seen as somehow just barely able to make it through a few hours alone with the kids without a serious mishap occurring.

It turns out that those subconscious stereotypes may hinder a man's ability to fully function as a father. Dads tend to rely on moms too much to direct the flow of action with their children and set boundaries. Moms tend to interfere too much with the dads' approaches to parenting.

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