Posted on January 15, 2020 in Divorce

You have probably had enough drama in your life as you dealt with the deterioration of your marriage. Perhaps you were even hoping to divorce your spouse through some less combative method, such as mediation, rather than going to court to fight it out. However, even if you and your spouse agree to alternative dispute resolution, you may still be facing tactics that can lead to more battles and more drama.

Whether you have previously witnessed vindictive behavior in your spouse, or you would never expect such actions from him or her, it may shock you to learn how divorce can bring out the worst in some people. That is why it is wise to know about some common dirty tricks spouses can play during divorce that can potentially wreck your future.

Don't play the game

It is not unusual for one or both sides in a divorce to feel angry or resentful because of the circumstances. After all, life is taking a drastic change, and it may not be a change your spouse was expecting or desiring. Unfortunately, some spouses take desperate measures to express their unhappiness or to make the divorce just as miserable for their former partners. For example, your ex may try any of the following tactics:

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 Posted on January 12, 2020 in Divorce

Americans typically have a Do-It-Yourself (DIY) mentality — whatever the project, they're willing to use online resources and a little ingenuity to tackle the job. Unfortunately, taking that attitude toward even a simple divorce can tangle you up in unexpected problems.

Here's why DIY divorces that don't involve an attorney can become problematic:

1. You can destroy your amicable relationship

You and your spouse have stayed amicable (or you wouldn't be thinking about a DIY divorce) — but those feelings can quickly sour when you hit your first bump in the road. Having to negotiate directly with the other party can trigger all sorts of unpleasant feelings, and it doesn't take much for a real fight to start. When you have your attorneys as a buffer, it's often easier to get a rational response.

2. You can forget about some important questions

You may think that you have a handle on the division of assets, but what happens when tax time comes and you realize that you owe a big — and unexpected — bill? You can figure out the basic child support that should be paid but still forget to negotiate important details like who will pay medical co-pays or cover the cost of school trips and other extra-curricular events.

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 Posted on January 07, 2020 in Child Custody

When you're a professional (or otherwise deeply invested in your career), managing the demands of parenthood can be challenging. That's doubly so if you find yourself facing a divorce.

How do you balance the needs of your children while still preserving your career? Knowing the answer to these questions could be key to obtaining the type of custody you seek, so here are some things to consider:

1. How far will your company go to make accommodations for you?

Be clear and direct with your boss or supervisor. Explain what schedule you need in order to take care of your child and don't be afraid to negotiate. Having a clear idea of what you can do helps you negotiate better.

You need to know, for example, that you can safely propose an alternate-week custody schedule because your boss has agreed that you can work from home those weeks.

2. How do you intend to manage after-school pickups and other child care until you get home?

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 Posted on January 02, 2020 in Divorce

Women who change their last name upon marriage are generally pleasantly surprised at how easy the whole thing is to accomplish. As a customary act, the road to your "married name" is usually easy to follow.

Not so, however, when you get divorced. Depending on where you live, reclaiming the name you used prior to your marriage can be a complicated — and intrusive — process that adds a layer of frustration to an already difficult time.

In fact, until Jan. 1, 2020, Illinois residents (usually women, in this situation) were required to post a legal notice in the local newspaper regarding their name change. For many, the requirement felt both ridiculous and archaic — forcing them to make a public spectacle out of an intrinsically private situation.

Under a new law, however, a divorce certificate — like a marriage certificate — is all that you need to effect a name change without a hassle. If your divorce or dissolution decree doesn't contain an order that restores your former name, you still have to file a petition to change your name through the probate court — but you are no longer required to publicize your decision in the paper.

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 Posted on December 26, 2019 in Family Law

Prenuptial agreements used to be something associated with heiresses and trust fund babies — but things have changed. Men and women alike are coming into marriage a little older, a little more independent and a little more financially sophisticated than in the past — especially among the Millennial generation.

Here's why prenups are a good idea:

• If you have your own business or entrepreneurial dreams, a prenup can protect them. It can help you keep your business out of the marital pot if you divorce.
• Prenups can control alimony amounts. As long as an agreement is fair, a prenup has the potential to save you a fortune in spousal support by outlining how much will be paid and how it will be distributed. Given the changes in the tax law, under which alimony payments are no longer deductible, that's essential.
• If you divorce, a prenup can keep everything civil. By the time a couple decides to divorce, most of the arguing is done — until it comes time to divvy up assets and debts. A prenup can eliminate a great deal of conflict in a divorce.

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 Posted on December 19, 2019 in Child Custody

If you suffer from depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder or another form of mental illness, do you live in terror that your spouse will pick up and leave and demand full custody of the children? Do you just assume that you have no hope of getting shared custody simply because you have a mental health diagnosis and have sought mental health treatment?

It doesn't quite work that way.

To be sure, your fears aren't entirely unfounded: Mental illness is still very stigmatized. This remains true even though more than 46% of people in the United States are believed to suffer from some form of mental illness at least once in their lives.

It is true that untreated mental illness can interfere with your ability to be an effective parent. It can also damage your relationship with your children — and damage the way that they perceive the world around them. But if you are treating your mental illness and your symptoms are under control, there's no particular reason that you can't be a good parent — or that you can't win custody.

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 Posted on December 13, 2019 in Divorce

After a split with your spouse, the first Christmas holiday season can be rough. The saccharine nature of the Hallmark movies may make you queasy to your stomach, and you may even feel a little snarky about all those couples in the holiday ads surprising each other with elaborate gifts.

It's okay. You've been through a big change, and you need time to adjust. In the meantime, here are some ways to make coping easier:

1. Don't get stuck in the past

Your entire family structure has changed with your divorce, so don't try to live in the past. You can't keep everything exactly the same, so don't try. Trying to recreate the holidays of the past will just make all those differences glaringly obvious and more painful to bear. Instead, aim for brand-new traditions that are clearly disconnected from holidays-past.

2. Communicate with your spouse

You may not want to do it, but you need to open a clear line of communication — even if only by text or email. The visitation schedule for the kids is bound to become convoluted at this time of year. Rather than adhere to a rigid schedule, it's usually advisable to allow a little flexibility into the plans to keep everyone on speaking terms the rest of the year.

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 Posted on December 05, 2019 in Family Law

Lots of people think about relocating after they get divorced. It can be refreshing and rather freeing to start over in a new place, around new people, when you've been stuck in an unhappy place for a long time.

When you're a parent with primary or shared custody of your child, however, relocating isn't easy. What you may be permitted to do — and where you may be permitted to move — will ultimately depend on what the court sees as the best interests of your child.

To determine if you can make a good case to the judge to allow a move, here are the things you need to consider:

1. How does your move benefit your child?

The court is unlikely to allow you to move away with your child without a good reason. Merely wanting to put some distance between yourself and your ex-spouse is not sufficient. Some good reasons for moving might include:

• The need to move where the cost of living is lower to better your child's environment

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 Posted on November 29, 2019 in Divorce

One of the biggest expenses of the modern era is your health insurance coverage. Naturally, if you're on your spouse's employer-provided insurance, you're concerned about what will happen if you end up divorced.

You may be able to stay on your ex-spouse's insurance after divorce, at least for a while — although your ex-spouse will not be responsible for your premium. The Illinois Spousal Continuation Coverage law says that if you are under 55 years of age, you may be entitled to remain covered for two full years after your divorce. If you are over 55 years of age, you may be entitled to coverage until you become eligible for Medicare.

Once your divorce is final, you'll have 30 days to notify your spouse's employer that you are electing to continue your coverage. Your spouse's employer is required to notify the insurance company, which will then forward you the appropriate form for completion. You must return the form within 30 days of its receipt.

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 Posted on November 23, 2019 in Child Custody

Your marital relationship is over. You and your future former spouse may agree on this point and that you don't want your children to suffer unnecessarily because of it. For this reason, you and the other parent make the choice to try to work out your custody agreement and parenting plan without going to court.

After all, you have heard numerous times that avoiding a contentious custody battle is better for your children — and you. So, you embark on a quest to resolve these issues through mediation. However, as you get into it, your gut tells you that something isn't right.

Should you listen to your gut?

Perhaps you think this is normal and that you are just having a more difficult time than other parents in your place did when they went through mediation. You may be right, but you may also need to listen to your gut. If you experience the following during the process, it may not be working for you:

• You end up discussing or arguing about issues unrelated to the children.

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