Posted on March 30, 2020 in Divorce

As the Twentieth Century was coming to a close, people in Northern Illinois who were contemplating a divorce had basically two options: attempt to negotiate an agreement with the other spouse on all aspects of the divorce, including child custody, child support, alimony and property division, or, failing to reach an agreement, go to trial and ask the judge to resolve their disagreements. With the passage of the millennium, divorce attorneys and bar associations have realized the need for more alternatives in order to resolve divorce issues without the usual level of anger and stress. One of these alternative is called “collaborative divorce.” While this process may not be the best choice for everyone, a knowledge of the benefits and difficulties of collaborative divorce can help people select a divorce proceeding that may work.

As the name suggests, a collaborative divorce involves the agreement of both spouses to enter upon a process that uses collaboration to resolve disagreements. Before beginning the collaborative divorce process, both parties must do the following:

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 Posted on March 30, 2020 in Divorce

Dividing assets can be one of the most contentious issues in an Illinois divorce, especially if the couple has had a long marriage. A couple whose children are grown may spend most of their time arguing about who gets the Mercedes or the condo in Aspen. How does a judge resolve these questions?

The first factor considered by the judge is how to divide the assets “equitably.” Like many states, Illinois does not have a community property law that would mandate a financially equal division of assets. Instead, the legislature has directed courts to ensure that a couple’s assets are distributed equitably. The word “equitable” means “fairly,” considering the financial situation of each spouse. Equitable does not mean equal.

Many couples have signed pre-marital agreements that contain the couple’s wishes about the division of their property. In the absence of an enforceable pre-marital agreement, the court will consider a number of factors. These factors can include

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 Posted on February 27, 2020 in Family Law

Your spouse has turned into someone who is so far removed from the person you thought you married that you don't even recognize them any longer. You're heading for a divorce, and you suspect that your spouse is going to make every step of the way as painful as possible. You'll probably have to fight for custody.

Knowing your situation, a friend suggests that you try to catch your spouse hurdling abuse at you on tape, with the idea that it might be useful in court.

That's not a good idea. Illinois is considered a two-party consent state, meaning that everyone involved in a conversation that can reasonably be expected to be private must consent to be recorded. If someone is recorded without their knowledge, that's a violation of federal wiretapping laws.

What does that mean? Generally, if your spouse starts making threats and yelling at you while you're in the parking lot of a local restaurant, that's not a private area. You can probably record what your spouse is saying without a problem.

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 Posted on February 21, 2020 in Divorce

Whether your divorce came out of the blue or was something you saw happening from a mile away, it still has the capacity to turn your life upside down. It's easy to get caught up in the emotions that are playing out — and the energy drain can be significant.

You're also worried about how your private life can remain private when your marital woes keep spilling over at work. Here are some tips you can use to cope:

1. Organize your time. Don't try to squeeze a meeting in with your attorney (or your spouse) during lunch hours or first thing in the morning. The emotional drain will likely affect you the rest of the day. Aim for end-of-the-day meetings whenever possible.
2. Choose an attorney who's convenient. While location isn't everything, an attorney whose office is near yours will be more easily accessible than one who requires an hour-long commute every time you have to go to the office.
3. Keep your documents off your computer desktop. Your divorce documents and financial records should probably not be on your work computer at all. If, for any reason, you do have to store some documents there, put them in a private folder where they're out of sight.

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 Posted on February 11, 2020 in Family Law

Given the importance of pets to today's Americans, it's hard to believe that dogs were once kept primarily as a labor force and were seen as nothing more than another type of livestock. Now, pets — dogs, cats and other animals — tend to be beloved companions. Many people even refer to their four-legged friends as their "fur babies," likening them to children, particularly among Millennials.

That's creating some major hiccups in divorce cases everywhere. Years ago, ownership of a pet was decided mostly based on which spouse's name was on the adoption or registration papers. These days, it's not so simple. Couples going through a divorce may be willing to compromise on a lot, but they often go to bat for custody or visitation rights over the dog (and, sometimes, the cat). Some couples even wind up back in court, well after the divorce is over, due to allegations of neglect or abuse of a pet. Pet owners have also occasionally refused to comply with a court's order regarding their pets, which has even led to contempt charges.

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 Posted on February 07, 2020 in Child Custody

When you're a parent, one of the worst aspects of divorce is that you will likely no longer have your child living with you 100% of the time. Parents often fight hard for the right to control in which household a child spends the majority of their time. They may also be surprised to learn that a minor child can sometimes make that decision for themselves.

In Illinois, the law allows children 14 years of age and older to choose which parent they want to have primary custody. Unless the judge has a compelling reason not to allow it, the child's preference may hold sway.

So what could make a judge decide not to allow a child's request regarding custody? Every decision the judge makes in a custody case has to center around the "best interests of the child." As any parent knows, sometimes children (especially teens) don't make decisions that are in their best interest. Instead they may:

• Seek to punish one parent for their perceived role in the divorce by asking to live with the other parent

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 Posted on January 28, 2020 in Divorce

Sometimes, couples quickly figure out that their marriage is a mistake. When you're in your 20s and 30s, you know that you have plenty of time to start over — which makes divorce seem less intimidating.

But divorce at any age can be complicated — even when you're young. Here are some of the things that you need to keep in mind if you're thinking about divorce before age 40:

1. What does your prenuptial agreement say?

Millennials have largely embraced prenups like no other generation before them. If you and your spouse signed a prenup, it's time to get it out and take a look at the terms. You don't want to trust your memory, and the prenup will guide everything from the division of your assets and business interests to issues of spousal support.

2. What have you been posting on social media?

The temptation to vent about your frustrations with your spouse can be huge — but you never want to post anything online that you don't want to hear repeated in court. If you can't trust yourself to stay quiet, take a social media break.

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 Posted on January 23, 2020 in Family Law

Prenups are increasingly popular these days, especially as people continue to marry later and enter into relationships well after they're established their own wealth and independent lives.

But talking about a prenup with your intended spouse can be awkward at best. You don't want to give the impression that you're already doubting the viability of a marriage that hasn't yet started and you certainly don't want to trigger a reaction that could end your relationship.

So where do you start? Here are some suggestions:

1. Choose your timing carefully.

You don't want to spring this conversation on your fiance in the middle of a romantic dinner. Nor do you want to sit down to the table ready to discuss a list of talking points before your intended has a chance to even think things through. Let your partner know that you want to discuss the issue and agree to talk about it after you've both had time to consider the proposition.

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 Posted on January 15, 2020 in Divorce

You have probably had enough drama in your life as you dealt with the deterioration of your marriage. Perhaps you were even hoping to divorce your spouse through some less combative method, such as mediation, rather than going to court to fight it out. However, even if you and your spouse agree to alternative dispute resolution, you may still be facing tactics that can lead to more battles and more drama.

Whether you have previously witnessed vindictive behavior in your spouse, or you would never expect such actions from him or her, it may shock you to learn how divorce can bring out the worst in some people. That is why it is wise to know about some common dirty tricks spouses can play during divorce that can potentially wreck your future.

Don't play the game

It is not unusual for one or both sides in a divorce to feel angry or resentful because of the circumstances. After all, life is taking a drastic change, and it may not be a change your spouse was expecting or desiring. Unfortunately, some spouses take desperate measures to express their unhappiness or to make the divorce just as miserable for their former partners. For example, your ex may try any of the following tactics:

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 Posted on January 12, 2020 in Divorce

Americans typically have a Do-It-Yourself (DIY) mentality — whatever the project, they're willing to use online resources and a little ingenuity to tackle the job. Unfortunately, taking that attitude toward even a simple divorce can tangle you up in unexpected problems.

Here's why DIY divorces that don't involve an attorney can become problematic:

1. You can destroy your amicable relationship

You and your spouse have stayed amicable (or you wouldn't be thinking about a DIY divorce) — but those feelings can quickly sour when you hit your first bump in the road. Having to negotiate directly with the other party can trigger all sorts of unpleasant feelings, and it doesn't take much for a real fight to start. When you have your attorneys as a buffer, it's often easier to get a rational response.

2. You can forget about some important questions

You may think that you have a handle on the division of assets, but what happens when tax time comes and you realize that you owe a big — and unexpected — bill? You can figure out the basic child support that should be paid but still forget to negotiate important details like who will pay medical co-pays or cover the cost of school trips and other extra-curricular events.

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