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These are 4 things you need to include in your parenting plan
Your parenting plan is going to make a huge difference in how your child is raised and how you’re able to handle conflicts and differences between yourself and ex-spouse. A parenting plan’s entire purpose is to make the future easier and to give you and your ex a set of guidelines as you move forward as co-parents.
There are four things that every parenting plan should have. Some of the essential topics to discuss include:
- A schedule for daily life with the addition of holidays
- Rules on who can or cannot make medical decisions
- Your child’s education
- Your child’s religion upbringing
Every family is different, but these topics should be addressed to make sure that you have a schedule that your child, and you, can abide by. You also want to know who can make decisions in an emergency and where you child is going to go to school. In the case that you and your ex don’t share a religion or have preferences about when your child should be allowed to explore religion, that topic should also be addressed.
Why should I have a prenup if I do not intend to divorce?
Prenuptial agreements have a reputation of being unromantic. Some may even go as far to say that prenups show a lack of commitment to a marriage. However, this reputation is undeserved. In fact, a prenup can protect you and your loved ones in a variety of ways.
Protect the family business
Take, for example, married business partners. The family business can be protected through a prenup to the benefit of the couple’s respective interests in the business should they divorce. However, the business itself also benefits from having a continuity plan established should the business outlast the marriage.
Protect children from a previous marriage
Another example is that of the blended family. It is not unusual these days for a parent to remarry after a divorce. A prenup can protect the interests of children from a previous marriage by allocating assets to them in the event of divorce or death, not unlike a trust.
Protect the less-monied spouse
In addition, you do not need to be wealthy to benefit from a prenup. While people who are entering a marriage with significant assets in their name will want to protect their interests through a prenup, those of lesser means can still benefit from one. For example, if one spouse earns significantly less than the other, there can be issues if their spouse passes away or if the marriage does not last. A prenup can address both these topics, ensuring assets are left to the non-monied spouse who otherwise might be left out of a will or trust.
Family business? Pay close attention if you divorce
A family business can be a great source of income for the household, but it is an asset that could potentially cause issues if the husband and wife decide to end the marriage. This is more common when one spouse handles the financial aspects of the company. Sometimes a spouse will decide that they need to make it appear as though the business isn’t as profitable as it truly is. Among divorce attorneys, this is known as "sudden income deficit syndrome."
The spouse who isn’t knowledgeable about the business’ finances is likely going to be at a disadvantage when they’re trying to work through the property division part of the divorce. This division is supposed to be based on an accurate account of the marital finances. When one spouse is hiding income from the family business, the information used to make financial decisions in the divorce isn't accurate.
Learning that the company isn’t as profitable as they thought is often a shock to the spouse who wasn’t familiar with the business’ finances. For a person in this position, determining what to do next while the marriage is ending can be a challenge. One option that you have is to add a forensic accountant to your divorce team. This individual can review various records and look in different places to try to figure out what’s going on with the company.
Which assets should I fight for during my divorce?
A lot of people feel cheated by the outcome of their divorce. Their child custody and visitation arrangement might not feel fair, and their property division arrangement might not leave them on as strong of financial footing as they would have liked. This is an unfortunate outcome that often befalls those who enter divorce proceedings without a plan and a strategy to bring that plan into reality. That’s why it’s often best to discuss these matters with an experienced divorce attorney who can help you separate the emotions from the nuts and bolts of divorce to come up with arguments that seek to protect your, or your child’s, best interests.
This is often of particular importance when it comes to property division. In many instances, individuals have emotional attachments to marital assets, such as a family home or items of personal property. This often drives them to fight tooth and nail to obtain those assets, even if it means giving up on other, more valuable assets. This can be financially devastating in the long run, which is why you need to consider all of the martial assets that might be subjected to the property division process and carefully analyze each to better determine where you should fight and where you should give.
When parenting time may be restricted or supervised
In the general the hope is that children have both parents involved in their lives in a meaningful way. This is generally what is best for children. This is why even after a divorce, both parents will generally have parenting time with their children. This does not mean that each parent will have equal parenting time, but each parent generally has a significant amount of time with the children.
However, there are situations when it may not be in the best interests of the children to have parenting time with one parent or if they do see that parent that there needs to be rules in place to ensure their safety. Courts are allowed to impose strict restrictions on parenting time, if a judge finds after a hearing, that a parent will endanger a child’s emotional, mental, moral or physical health. This endangerment can come in many different forms, but may include physical abuse, drug or alcohol addictions, untreated mental health issues and other situations.
The restrictions could include taking away decision making responsibilities from the parent; requiring their parenting time be supervised by a trusted third-party to ensure the children’s safety; requiring parents to abstain from drugs or alcohol and complete treatment programs; ordering exchanges to be facilitated by a third-party or in a secure setting; restricting the communication between the parents and other actions to ensure the safety of the children.
Divorce among the retirement community
Don’t assume that divorce is just for middle-aged parents with young children. The cliche is, of course, a mother and father in their 30s or 40s who perhaps fell in love in college and now have drifted apart. They want something new in life. Couples who make it through this stage, it’s often assumed, will stay married for life.
The truth, though, is that gray divorce has only been rising. Those over 50 are ending their marriages at a fast clip. Baby boomers are now those deciding it’s time for something new.
These are individuals who fall well out of that cliche. They may have children, but the children are grown up and have moved out of the house. Many of them are closer to retirement than they are to middle age.
All of this can bring up some unique challenges. For instance, a couple who has saved jointly for retirement all these years now has to decide how to split up those savings and what it is going to mean for their ability to retire at all. Plus, couples at this age tend to own more assets, such as family homes, multiple cars and even businesses.
Should you tell your child’s teacher about your divorce?
You do not have to tell anyone about your divorce, other than your spouse. However, if you’re a parent, you may want to start thinking realistically about who it would be wise to tell. Does a child’s teacher fall into that category?
They do. First and foremost, some children struggle in school while the divorce is going on or immediately after it happens. They tend to regain their footing and adjust over time, but it doesn’t happen right away. If the teacher knows what’s going on at home, they may be able to help the child avoid any performance issues.
Remember, you always want to put your child’s needs first. Their education is important. If one simple conversation with a teacher can help them do better, it’s worth having.
One thing to keep in mind is that this should be a facts-only conversation. You do not need to get into any details or any drama. You don’t need to explain why the divorce is your spouse’s fault or tell the teacher why the marriage fell apart.
Breaking the news of divorce to kids is tough. Here are some tips
Divorce can be a challenging topic to address, even when it's just between you and your spouse. It can be even more difficult when you have to discuss it with your kids. That first talk with them usually involves telling them about the impending divorce, which can shatter what they may have perceived as a great home life. This threat to their stability can be frightening for children, which is why you need to handle these discussions delicately.
To do so, you might want to consider a number of things such as the following:
- Honesty is key: Your child deserves to know the truth. If you try to mislead your children, you might end up filling them with false hope and a false sense of reality.
- Reassure them: Your children are going to exhibit a wide array of emotions. This is normal. Let them know that they are free to express how they feel and can talk to you about the divorce at anytime. You can acknowledge that a lot of things are going to change, but try to focus on the things that won't change. Also, don't forget to tell your children that you love them no matter what.
What to do with the family home in a divorce
The family home is one of the most valuable assets a person owns, both financially and emotionally. Homeowners in Illinois may have built up a significant amount of equity in their home, and it is the place where family memories are made. However, when a couple’s marriage goes south and they want to divorce, one of the biggest decisions they will have to make during the property division process is what to do with the family home.
One option is for one spouse to keep the home and buy out the other spouse’s share in it. This may be an especially attractive option if one spouse has custody of the children and wishes to keep raising them in the family home that they are familiar with. If one spouse wants to keep the family home, it is important that not only can they afford to buy out their ex’s share in it and refinance, but also that they can afford the many costs of homeownership. This means paying the mortgage, homeowner’s insurance, property taxes and upkeep on the home.
How long should you date before getting married?
Some people talk about love at first sight. They claim that they knew on the first date that they wanted to marry the other person. They may have only waited a few months before tying the knot.
To others, dating for two or three months and then getting married sounds absurd. They advocate dating for an extensive period of time. They may have been with their partner for a decade. They may choose to live together to “test out” being married without the legal ramifications. They want to take it slow and be careful.
So, who is right? How long should you date before getting married?
When looking at the odds of divorce, researchers pinned down the right amount of time that couples should spend dating if they wanted to reduce the chances of splitting up after marriage. They pointed out that waiting for a minimum of three years cut down the divorce rate by about 50% when compared to couples who only dated for a year. Even just dating for anywhere between one and two years reduced divorce odds by 20%.
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