Posted on January 22, 2021 in Divorce

If you’re unhappy with your marriage, you might start “looking around” on dating sites. Perhaps you will look and see if there is anyone attractive in your area or just go online to see what kinds of options you might have if you wanted to date again.

If you think that you’re going to divorce, it may be a good idea to put those actions on hold. If your spouse discovers that you’ve been chatting with other people or that you are actively looking to meet with a date, then you could be at a disadvantage during your divorce.

Should you date when you are already planning to divorce?

Dating before you approach the idea of a divorce with your spouse is not something you should do. If you’re caught committing adultery, it might not have an impact on the case in court, but it could make it harder to separate. Your spouse could ask for a greater portion of your marital assets or for alimony, for example, because they believe that you were spending down assets on dates with someone else.

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 Posted on January 21, 2021 in Child Custody

There is a definite connection between alcoholism and divorce. Quite likely, there is also a corollary between parents getting divorced and increasing their alcohol uptake. That often happens when couples divorce and one or both parties spirals into a depression fueled by alcohol.

But what happens when an alcoholic parent seeks custody of their kids? Is it futile to even try?

A diagnosis of alcoholism can be quite subjective

To a teetotaler, someone who polishes off a 6-pack from Friday to Monday could be considered an alcoholic, when in reality they are just someone who enjoys a couple of beers on the weekend. But a nondrinking parent seeking full custody and child support could attempt to thumb the custody scales by exaggerating their ex’s consumption and drinking frequency.

Are there any red flags?

Any parent seeking custody who has a DWI on their record or other alcohol-related arrest or conviction should expect that to be introduced by their ex’s attorney in court. Other potential problems include pictures, videos or recordings indicating drunken behavior or its aftermath. Video of a parent passed out or vomiting after drinking can be quite compelling in court.

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 Posted on January 20, 2021 in Child Custody

For many years, divorce lawyers have told their clients to try to shelter their children from the arguments they have with their ex. There are many reasons for this. Perhaps the most important is the theory that children can suffer long-lasting emotional damage from being caught up in fights between their parents.

Recent research supports this theory. According to a study published in the journal Child Development, children develop a fear of abandonment after they are exposed to bickering between their parents in divorce. What's more, this fear created lingering problems for the children's mental health.

Interviews with kids

Researchers based their research on interviews with 560 children between the ages of 9 and 19. Researchers also talked to parents and teachers. The study found that children who reported feeling caught in the middle of their parents' arguments were more likely to fear abandonment, and that these children were more likely to report mental health problems 11 months later.

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 Posted on January 18, 2021 in Child Custody

More and more, courts award joint custody to both parents when they decide to get divorced. Sole custody situations do still occur, typically when a child’s health and well-being are at stake, but they’re not used lightly. The courts prefer shared custody and consider it to be the optimal situation.

There are skeptics who believe these situations don’t work, in large part because they can be stressful for parents. But studies have repeatedly demonstrated that this is not the case.

The benefits of joint custody are clear

For example, a PhD researcher looked at cases involving 251 children with married parents, 814 children with divorced parents who shared custody and 1,846 children with divorced parents, one of whom had sole custody. What he found was that those in families with joint custody:

• Had higher self-esteem
• Enjoyed better family relationships
• Had fewer emotional issues
• Had fewer behavioral problems
• Performed better in school

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 Posted on January 08, 2021 in Child Custody

Most people recognize that there are a few things that you should never ask others about and that their health is one such topic. Parents who find themselves negotiating over child custody may not have the luxury of keeping such information private, though.

A parent's mental health may become center stage and shape how a judge rules on custody in a case.

How your mental health can impact your child custody rights

You should know that a family law judge's primary objective is to make custody decisions that they believe are in the best interest of your child. A judge will likely be unwilling to award you custody of your child if they suspect that your mental health problems may make you unable to make your child's welfare, health or safety as a priority.

If a judge has a reason to believe that your mental health issues are severe enough that you may aggressively lash out or engage in self-harm, then they too may determine that you're unfit to raise your child. The likelihood that your mental health will affect your custody case increases if you've ever been hospitalized for mental issues or are unable to live independently.

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 Posted on January 04, 2021 in High Asset Divorce

Divorce is far more than the end of a marriage. It can impact your financial well-being for the rest of your life. Yet you’re required to make crucial financial decisions at a time when you may be consumed by myriad emotions that too often lead people to do things that aren’t in their best interests.

Your attorney will provide guidance on the legal aspects of your divorce. You may also benefit from having a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) on your team. A CDFA isn’t the same as a financial advisor. CDFAs have specialized training to deal with the long-term financial and tax impacts of divorce.

What does a CDFA do?

A CDFA may work closely with a family law attorney in support of their mutual client to help ensure that they seek the best possible settlement. They can provide guidance on things like:

• Division of assets like stock options and pension plans
• Tax consequences of potential settlements
• Life insurance and health insurance coverage

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 Posted on December 27, 2020 in Divorce

Many divorcing couples opt to sell their family home and divide the proceeds. Homes in this area are often too much for one person to afford on their own.

It’s in both your and your spouse’s best interests to sell your home quickly and for the best possible price. However, too many divorcing couples sabotage the home selling process without realizing it.

That’s one reason it’s best to get a real estate divorce specialist. They have training and experience selling homes for divorcing couples. There are even. It’s also important to share with them the relevant portions of any divorce agreement regarding the home and its sale.

Common mistakes to avoid when selling a home during a divorce

Just what kind of mistakes do divorcing couples make that can jeopardize a potential deal? Let’s look at how you can avoid some of the most common issues:

• Don’t let maintenance and repairs go unattended. The same goes for cleaning. This can happen if the spouse who handled these things is the one who moved out. Your realtor can recommend a handyman, housekeeper and other maintenance pros who can help get (and keep) things in shape.

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 Posted on December 18, 2020 in Divorce

Contemplating the new year’s arrival can make you contemplate your future, so it’s no surprise that a lot of couples initiate divorce proceedings in the new year.

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce in the near future, there’s something you need to do first: Open a new bank account in your name.

Financial games are common in divorce

Financial games are high on the list of “dirty tricks” that people frequently play in a divorce. Having a bank account in your own name can help insulate you from them in the following ways:

• It gives you a safe, secure spot to start building your safety net. You know divorce is expensive, and you need to start putting money away as soon as possible for your needs. A bank account of your own can help you save.
• It keeps your spouse from cutting you off. Hostile, angry spouses have been known to cancel credit and debit cards as soon as a divorce is announced. If you have a bank account in your own name, your spouse can’t leave you completely without funds.

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 Posted on December 11, 2020 in Divorce

When you finalize your divorce agreement with your spouse, you hope that you don’t have to end up in a courtroom with them again. Even when you encounter the inevitable disagreements and confusion over some of the provisions, you can probably work them out together.

However, there are times when you may need to go to court to enforce one of your agreements. This is typically done by filing a petition alleging contempt of court. That sounds like a serious allegation – and it is. However, if they’re intentionally defying a court order, that’s the appropriate term.

Let’s look at some of the most common reasons for divorce-related contempt of court petitions.

Nonpayment of child or spousal support

If your ex isn’t making the payments they were ordered to make on-time and in full, that can have a serious impact on your and your children’s financial well-being. If someone isn’t voluntarily making these payments, a judge can order their wages to be garnished and/or penalize them in a variety of ways, including sending them to jail.

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 Posted on December 04, 2020 in Divorce

Aside from matters involving children, property division is one of the most contentious elements of getting a divorce. Both spouses want a property settlement that they believe is balanced and fair. While this seems like a manageable goal, striking the right balance is difficult in many divorces.

For most people going through a divorce, emotions typically take center stage, meaning that your feelings can overtake your otherwise good judgment. However, you can get a handle on your feelings and emerge from the property division stage of divorce in good shape financially.

Tips to help you get a fair property settlement

Understand the marital property laws in your state. Illinois is an equitable distribution state, which means courts strive to approve settlements that are fair to each spouse. You should also know that the term "equitable" does not necessarily mean equal in terms of how judges address property division.

Consider your short- and long-term financial needs. Most people want to come out of the divorce with the largest share of the total marital property. For many, this may mean keeping the family home or other property requiring maintenance. It may be wiser to consider your long-term situation and make sure you can afford the costs associated with certain assets.

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