Posted on June 04, 2021 in Divorce

You think of divorce as something that will or will not happen based solely on decisions made by you and your spouse. No one else affects your odds of divorce.

But is that true? Or could outside factors play a role? For instance, say your own parents got divorced when you were a child, and/or your spouse’s parents got divorced. Does this increase the odds of divorce in your own life, even though your parents have nothing to do with the specifics of your relationship?

The odds are increased by 38%

It is true that adults with divorced parents face greater divorce odds. Researchers have even studied this phenomenon to the point that they claim that when one spouse has divorced parents, the odds of divorce go up by 38%.

Lest this be seen as an effect of having a single-parent upbringing, they also looked at cases where one parent passed away, thus ending the marriage. In these cases, divorce odds did not increase for the children in that family. This means that it is specifically having divorced parents that makes your own divorce more likely.

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 Posted on May 28, 2021 in Child Custody

One of the most difficult things about sharing custody with your ex is their constant involvement in your life. If you want to plan a weekend getaway, you have to communicate with them to let them know the kids won't be available to take phone calls that weekend.

If you want to completely change your schedule for the next two weeks, you may have to negotiate a temporary shift to your parenting plan or custody order.

Family law judges typically want to protect the relationships of each parent. Does that mean that your ex gets to decide whether you can move to Wisconsin to take a new job or move in with your parents?

If your ex approved it, that could help you

Any relocation outside of the state or more than a reasonable drive from your ex's house could affect your parenting plan. A major relocation is a significant change in circumstances that could justify a custody modification.

If your ex agrees that moving is good for you and will benefit the kids, the two of you can file for an uncontested modification that allows you to relocate with the kids. If they don't agree with you, then you will likely have to go to court.

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 Posted on May 21, 2021 in Child Custody

Relationships take a lot of hard work to keep them intact, and caring for a newborn is also time-consuming. The combination of these two factors can lead a couple to split up when their child is a mere infant.

If you’re in this position, there are two factors that you'll need to account for when deciding how to share custody of your baby with your ex.

Is your infant breastfeeding?

Breastfeeding is beneficial for both moms and babies. Mastering appropriate latching, managing supply issues and getting a feeding schedule down pat takes most new mothers some time.

Most pediatricians recommend against weaning a baby off the breast and transferring to the use of bottles too quickly. These concerns may make arranging a schedule whereby you and your ex trade-off your infant every so many days isn't likely to work during your baby's earliest months of life.

Is your baby on a good sleep schedule?

Another detail that you're likely learning now that you're a new parent is that your child doesn't reliably sleep at night when you want to, nor do they remain asleep for very long once you do put them to bed. Babies may only sleep for small spurts of time initially as you manage to get their feeding schedule on track.

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 Posted on May 13, 2021 in Divorce

Nelson Mandela said, “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.”

It is good advice if you are about to divorce. Even if you do not have children, you still need to work together with your spouse. Doing so is the quickest way to solve the problem you both share: Deciding how to end your marriage.

Divorce does not need to be a major battle

If you look at the conflicts in the world, many of them have gone on for years. The two sides are no closer to resolution than when they started. Meanwhile, both continue to do considerable harm to each other. The longer they fail to reach an agreement, the more it costs in financial and human terms.

If you litigate your divorce, each refusing to budge from your demands, you will spend more money and time and cause more harm. When the judge makes their decision, there is a high chance that at least one of you leaves disgruntled. It could make a future conflict more likely.

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 Posted on May 06, 2021 in Child Custody

If you're divorcing while you still have an older teenager at home, you might wonder if a custody plan is really necessary. They’re pretty independent as they are now, especially since they obtained a driver's license, so why hold them back with a schedule when they have the ability to decide where to go or live?

Legally speaking, you’re still your child’s guardian until they turn 18, so it’s necessary to come up with a custody plan. That plan can be something as simple as setting up specific days when they’ll stay the night at their mother or father’s house.

Should you let your teen pick their own custody schedule?

If your child is driving and over 16 years of age, they may have a good idea of what they want to do in terms of custody. While you don’t have to do exactly what they want, it’s worth listening to what they have in mind since they’re more independent than a younger child would be.

They might opt to live with one parent permanently and just visit the other parent, for example, to avoid going back and forth between homes. Alternatively, they may be happy to go with whatever plan you and their other parent decide. Since every child is different, you will need to sit down and talk to yours about what they want and what you think you should do.

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 Posted on April 29, 2021 in Child Custody

One of the most important things you can do after a divorce is to work well with your ex as you co-parent your children. This gives the children the stability and care they deserve.

Naturally, this can also be very hard to do. Divorced couples typically are not on the best of terms. If you really want to put your kids first, here are a few tips to help you do that.

Promote solid communication

You and your ex cannot avoid or ignore each other and expect to parent successfully. You need to communicate about such matters as how the kids are doing in school, scheduling changes and any personal issues that your children may have. You should communicate effectively, no matter whether it's via phone, text or email.

Remember that you can both be excellent parents

People sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that someone wasn’t a good spouse, so they’re not a good parent. This isn’t true. Both you and your ex can be great parents even though your marriage didn't work out.

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 Posted on April 21, 2021 in Child Custody

Illinois law does not consider someone an adult until they turn 18 years of age. It treats anyone under that age as a minor and requires an adult to take responsibility for their affairs, including where they live, what school they attend and what medical care they receive.

Usually, this is the child's parents. Yet, sometimes another person takes this role through guardianship.

What is custody of a minor?

When you have a child, as parents, you naturally have custody. You are legally responsible for your child until they reach adulthood. If you do not live together as a couple or later split up, a court needs to determine custody.

There are two types of custody: Legal and physical. Legal custody means who has the legal authority to make decisions on behalf of the child. Usually, both parents would share this. Physical custody refers to who the child spends time with, and there are several ways to arrange this.

What is guardianship of a child?

Guardianship is when someone else takes the place of parents incapable of looking after their child. That could be because both parents die or when one parent dies and the other cannot provide the child with a safe environment due to addiction, domestic violence, incarceration or mental health issues.

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 Posted on April 16, 2021 in Child Custody

Illinois family law judges have one primary obligation in child custody cases. Their most important responsibility is to make decisions that they believe are in children’s best interests.

As a parent, your arrest on domestic violence charges is enough to potentially put your custodial rights in jeopardy. A conviction for such a crime may be the proverbial nail in the coffin. A family court judge will likely weigh various factors when deciding what impact your impending or adjudicated charges have on your custody case.

The expectation is that a judge will presume a defendant as innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Judges tend to err on the side of caution when awarding custody, though.

What factors will a family court judge weigh?

Accusations of domestic violence may prompt the family law judge presiding over your case to replace your custodial rights with visitation rights. They'll likely weigh various factors before doing so, including:

• Whether there's documentable proof of the allegations such as police reports, hospital records and photographs

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 Posted on April 14, 2021 in Divorce

Being in your 70s, you know that you have lived a long life, but you have no intention of slowing down. You’re still active in your community, enjoy traveling and generally enjoy getting out of your comfort zone.

Throughout the years, your spouse has been a strong support of all your goals and aspirations, but now they’re trying to settle down. Even though you’re still in good health, they have seen theirs falter, and they are not able to keep up with the activities you love.

Unfortunately, this has bred resentment, and both of you are now looking into a divorce. At 70, though, is that really a good idea?

Divorce over 50 is increasing, though the issues are complex

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 Posted on April 07, 2021 in Divorce

If you are about to divorce, you need to decide what to do with your home. Who gets the family home can become one of the significant points of contention.

Your financial situation may mean you have to sell a home you want to keep

What if you want to keep your home? You might have spent years making improvements and tending to your garden. You could be great friends with the others in your street. Buying your spouse out may be an option if you have the funds. Or you may be able to trade it against other assets when dividing your property. If you cannot afford to keep the property, selling it may be the only option.

Market prices may influence your decision to sell

Now might not be the right time to sell your property if prices have dropped. It may make financial sense to wait, but it could complicate matters.

Delaying selling keeps you tied to your spouse

A clean break is often best thing for both parties when divorcing. If you continue to own a house together, then you still need to deal with each other.

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