4 divorce myths to ignore when you go through divorce

 Posted on February 11, 2021 in Divorce

When you’re going to go through a divorce, you’ll start getting lots of advice. Friends and family members may mean well, but it’s also likely that they’ll share untruths about divorce with you.

You shouldn’t fall for those myths. Here are four that come up often that you should ignore.

1. Proving adultery means you’ll get everything

The first myth that you shouldn’t believe is that adultery automatically means that the faithful spouse wins everything in the divorce. If the faithful spouse can prove that assets were used, spent or given away to the person they had an affair with, then they may be able to seek a greater portion of their marital assets. That doesn’t mean they’ll get everything, though.

2. Your spouse can deny the divorce

There is no way for any spouse to deny the other a divorce. In a contested divorce, your spouse may argue against it, but if you go through the separation period, you can continue with the divorce anyway.

3. There is a bias against fathers during custody cases

In the past, there may have been a bias against fathers in custody cases, because mothers were more likely to be involved in rearing their children in day-to-day life. In the 1950s and ‘60s, for example, many women were stay-at-home mothers and did not work.

Today, that’s not the case. Men or women have an equal chance to seek custody of their children and maintain that relationship. Similarly, either men or women could end up paying child support.

4. It’s possible to negotiate away child support

Finally, you may think that you can negotiate away child support to get rid of a monthly payment, but the reality is that it’s unlikely that any court will agree to that arrangement, even if you and your spouse do. In most states, including Illinois, you will need to pay support if you are the noncustodial parent. The amount of support may be minimized, but it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to avoid paying altogether.

These are four myths that you shouldn’t believe about divorcing. If you have questions, it’s better to talk to your attorney about your specific state laws and how they may affect you. Not everyone has the same experience when divorcing, so it’s always a good idea to talk to someone who has knowledge that applies to your case.