Busting Common Misbeliefs About Domestic Violence

 Posted on February 09, 2026 in Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a serious problem that affects people from all backgrounds. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, more than one in three women and one in four men experience physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Despite how common domestic violence is in 2026, many harmful myths continue to exist.

These false beliefs make it harder for victims to recognize abuse, seek help, or leave dangerous situations. If you or someone you care about is experiencing abuse, a DuPage County domestic violence lawyer can provide the legal guidance and support needed to get out of a bad situation.

Four Common Beliefs Non-Victims Have About Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Only Happens in Low-Income Families or Certain Communities

Abuse occurs across all income levels, education levels, races, and religions. Abusers can be doctors, teachers, business owners, or anyone else.

"Real" Abuse Is Always Physical

Psychological abuse can be just as damaging. Emotional abuse often causes severe psychological harm that can last for years.

Victims Can Leave Anytime

The National Domestic Violence Hotline says that leaving an abusive relationship is the most dangerous time for a victim. Abusers often escalate violence when they feel they are losing control. Victims may also face practical barriers like a lack of money, nowhere safe to go, or fear of losing custody of their children.

Domestic Violence Is Caused by Anger Management Problems, Stress, or Substance Abuse

While these may be present, they do not cause the abuse. Domestic violence is about power and control. Many abusers are calm and charming in public and abusive in private. Many other people who struggle with mental illness, substance use, and stress never become abusive.

Four Common Beliefs That Keep Domestic Violence Victims Trapped

Abuse Is Normal

Many victims believe that their relationship is normal or that all relationships have similar problems. They may think that violence or constant criticism is just how couples act, especially if they grew up with abuse in their families. Behaviors may involve a partner:

• Controlling who you see, where you go, or what you wear.
• Regularly insulting you, calling you names, or humiliating you.
• Threatening to hurt you, your children, or themselves.
• Forcing you to have sex or do sexual things you do not want to do.
• Destroying your belongings or hurting your pets.
• Keeping you from working or controlling all the money.
• Making you afraid of how they will react in certain situations.

If you experience any of these regularly, you are being abused. This is not normal or acceptable in healthy relationships.

They Deserve the Abuse

Some victims believe they caused the abuse or deserve it somehow. They may think they should have known better than to get involved with this person, and now all they can do is deal with the consequences. Other victims grew up with abuse and have low self-esteem or believe they are worthless. Research shows that childhood exposure to domestic violence increases the risk of accepting abuse as an adult. These victims may know that the abuse is wrong, but still feel they do not deserve better treatment.

They Can Fix or Control the Abuser

Many victims believe that if they just do the right thing, say the right thing, or love their partner enough, the abuse will stop. They think they can manage the abuser's behavior by being more careful, more supportive, or more understanding.

This belief is false and dangerous. You cannot control another person's behavior, and you cannot fix an abuser. They must choose to change themselves.

Their Life Will Be Ruined If They Leave

Victims often fear that leaving will destroy their lives. They may believe they are too old to start over, too broken, or that anything good in their life will vanish if they leave their relationship.

None of these things are true, but it can be terrifying to think about how you will build a new life from scratch. Many people worry about financial instability or the impact on their children.

How Can Illinois Domestic Abuse Victims Get Help?

In addition to hotlines and state resources for victims of domestic abuse, an attorney is often your best resource if you are trying to leave an abusive situation. The Illinois Domestic Violence Act (750 ILCS 60) provides protections for victims of abuse, including orders of protection (restraining orders).

An order of protection requires your abuser to stay away from you or risk going to prison. They can also make the abuser give you financial support after you leave. An order of protection can be issued quickly, even within 24 hours, for emergencies. A lawyer can help you navigate the legal system, file the necessary paperwork, and represent you in court.

Call a Wheaton, IL Domestic Violence Attorney Today

Breaking free from an abusive relationship is difficult, but you do not have to do it alone. Attorney Alex Fawell brings 10 years of legal experience to every case. He served as a federal judicial clerk for the Honorable John Darrah and worked as a 711 law clerk for both the DuPage County and Cook County Public Defender's offices. Our firm takes a practical, results-oriented approach with one priority: your family's safety and well-being.

Contact Fawell & Fawell at 630-871-2400 today to schedule your free consultation with a DuPage County domestic violence lawyer who will fight for your protection.